THE ULTIMATE BATTLE pg.126

THE ULTIMATE BATTLE pg.126

Drawn: March 16th, 2006, 9:50pm
Scanned: Monday, February 13, 2017, 1:33:41AM!

By use of a distraction, Timmy hurls the Michael Mobile toward Jason & rescues Michael from a killing blow that surly would’ve ended him for good.

And lo… the obvious answer to what would happen if both Jason Voorhees and Michael Myers got into a tussle, it’s clearly stated that the victor would be none other than…

Jason Fucking Voorhees.

Now before any one of you curses at the monitor & calls be a FanTard straight outta a "Goku vs Superman" Death Battle, please understand the fact that while Jason is ‘My Hero’, I love both Jason & Michael on equal levels, at least in a Slasher/Modern Monster sense.
But while Michael is more stealthier, trickier & possibly quicker than Jason, there’s really nothing much that Michael can throw at Jason without either damaging him to the core, or even breaking character by performing Over-Powered feats & weapons to use at his disposal.

Michael can keep stabbing & puncturing Jason all he wants, but as Moustapha Akkad always keep stating to the fans…
"Michael is only Human, and you cannot damage him too much without permanently destroying him for good. He makes me too much money to kill him off so easily."

Okay, maybe not those EXACT words, but it’s actually true; Michael is only at Human level, guys. Whereas Jason is now at Ultra-Human level. If Jason really wanted to, he’d drop his Machete, punch Michael in the stomach, grab out his intestines n’ giblets & stuff them down his gizzard while obliterating his mug as he does so. I mean, c’mon guys, just face the facts as they are; while Michael has the advantage of Stealth, Reflexes, and Intelligence, Jason has the upper hand when it comes to STRENGTH, Versatility, Marksmanship, and most of all, the power of DURABILITY! Seriously, Michael gets a barrage of shotgun blasts from far away only to crawl into a wino’s shack & doze off for a year, whereas Jason has been blasted point blank with a shotgun, and had hundreds of futuristic ballistic unloaded in him & only manages to PISS HIM OFF some more!
Oh sure, Michael can squeeze a guy’s face till he bleeds, but Jason can crush another's face like a trash compactor, rip arms off & beat up people with it, and your all telling everyone that Michael can stand a chance with THAT Mother Fucker??!!


Ultimately, when the dust settles, it all comes down to one single solution that has been thrown around more time than once:
What happens when you take a Man that is beset upon his own limits & put him up against another Man that virtually has NO limits?
Well, only one being in the party has limits to give at all. I’m not saying that Jason is Limitless, god no, but Michael has WAY more limits than even Chucky for shit’s sake. Michael has to eat & breath oxygen just to survive, whereas Jason doesn’t need all that shit to keep up.

Now of course, I bet your all saying, "Eh, Michael or Remake Michael can beat up Classic Jason, so hee hee heee!"
Um, no. Notta. Not even close. Stating a slur like that is only hiding from the fact that ONE, you’re only hiding the truth that Michael is no match for an advanced Jason & resulting to cheap tactics and TWO, you simply cannot admit to your younger 4 year old self that your favorite 'Hero' is obviously going to get killed by the other opponent that has done feats that nobody has done on a regular basis.
Sure, the fight would last longer & be a bit more evenly matched, but keep in mind that Jason at that point could RUN & crush a guys skull so hard, his eyeball popped right out. And it was gross as SHIT!

Jason at that point had more strength, skill & versatility in his favor and while Michael’s only weapon of choice was either a knife, a hammer, or anything one-handed, Jason’s weapon of choices were both one-handed & TWO-handed objects or blunt heavy ass weapons that could practically cream the fucking Monster from the "ALIEN" movies. Speaking of which, using the quality of the "HalloweeN" films & comparing them to the "Friday the 13TH" films to justify Michael more, has nothing to do with the actual FIGHT & are only throwing around smart-ass implications centered on movie quality bases ONLY. We’re talking about the CHARACTERS in general, and not centered on some Hollywood celluloid brand of entertainment. It’s like saying that Danny DeVito can beat up Hulk Hogan just because he’s "the better writer/actor/director" than the other guy. IT MAKES NO GODDAMN SENSE!!!

In conclusion, when it all comes down to besetting limits upon one another, it’s only a matter of time when somebody has exhausted all their limitations & can fight no more. It’s just how it all works, people.

But then, that’s why we all love out favorite characters; NOT because they can win at some pointless fight, but how their characterization is portrayed. Michael is fine as he is, & tampering with him too much just to have him win only one measly solitary fight is only being very selfish with the character & not a very good way to honor & respect the very person or thing that inspired you the most in life, does it?
That, and it’s a good thing that fights like these ALWAYS end on a draw, right?

The next exciting chapter will include a MONSTER vs MONSTER Battle, Jason kicking some moar ASS, and the return of a beloved character that tore your Hearts apart at their END…

--End of Chapter 4--

THE ULTIMATE BATTLE pg.127